To Vote or Not To Vote (for the SRC elections, I mean)

Disclaimer: the level of sarcasm and meanness in this post is set at ALARMINGLY HIGH. If you are either a) Easily Offended or b) involved in the whole SRC election process or c) Both of the above, then close your eyes, count up to three, and quietly back away from the computer. You have been warned.

When I entered the Human Sciences building last Sunday for a last-minute group discussion (my usual modus operandi) my first thoughts were “Behold the carnage!"*

At every single turn, every wall, every bulletin board, and even strung up across the ceilings, were rows upon rows of paper depicting the faces of IRKHS (that's Islamic Revealed Knowledge and Human Sciences for you non-UIA people out there) students brave enough to battle it out on election today. < -- (I’d originally planned to take a photo of it and upload it, but this paragraph will have to make do, because I’m really lazy. Or better yet, experience it for yourself. As you walk down the paper-strewn corridor, you can practically hear the ghostly screams of the trees that died to make the election possible.)

The next thought that entered my mind was: “Was the sacrifice worth it?”**

Apparently not, because the end result was another bunch of rhetoric submerged underneath a string of similar-sounding words.

Improve the facilities. Promised every year, yet the computers in HS are still riddled with more viruses than the infamous lady-boys of Thailand.

Become intermediary between IRKHS and the administration. Yeah, though that wouldn’t happen if you guys keep LAUGHING at the legitimate suggestions given by certain societies.

Then there were newer ones tacked on, like:

Eliminating ‘real-politics’. Dude, the term is “realpolitik”... unless, of course, you mean to say that you plan to represent IRKHS from a massive cloud in the sky where sparkling unicorns beckon and baskets of jewels are poured before your bestockinged feet.

Installing facilities for OKU students. Good intentions, cruel execution. An international friend of mine asked me, “what’s oh-coo?” Fail. As another friend of mine said, if you want to show that you can represent the whole kuliyyah, take the effort to reach out to non-Malay speakers as well.

Install a 3D map of IRKHS. This beats last year’s “create KIRKHS’s own kiosk” for most useless suggestion ever. Just...no.

One of the problems of the candidates is that I just can’t keep track of which party they’re actually from. Now, don’t tell me they’re all independent candidates, because then I’ll suggest that you set up residency in a cloud of your own (BONUS: feel free to add your own magical creatures to it to make yourself comfy). I know that not all of them are quietly working for either Wufi or Aspirasi or Pro-Mahasiswa (I can never get the names straight), but some are. And if they’re already willing to sneak around UIA’s rules at this stage, who knows what they’ll get up to once they’re in power?

Comments overheard about the election in the corridors:

“I’m going to vote for [CENSORED] because I don’t know who the others are.”

“I’m going to vote for a boy this time, because the last few years it was always a girl.”

“I’m going to vote for the best-looking guy.”

Honest to God, I heard them with my very own ears.

And after three years of increasing cynicism, I might even adopt one of those strategies. On the bright side, they’re all three of them better than the reason why I voted for a particular candidate in my first year: free bags.


PS: I apologise for any feelings hurt in the process. Sincerely.

PSS/PPS(?): No, I’m not going to come up with better manifesto suggestions. I’m going to bed.

PSSS/PPPS(??): If you want to reread this whole post, do it quick, because I might just delete it if too many people get angry. (No, I'm not a coward -- just battle-weary). Though really, as "politicians", these people should learn to handle worse criticisms.

PSSSS/PPPPS(???): I just realised not many people in UIA will be reading this anytime soon, on account of the campus wifi being down, and all the computer labs locked up to cater to the elections. Crap to the power of eight. Baru syok nak resume blogging again after a long hiatus.


*okay, outright lie, but it would have been cool if I had. My real thoughts were among the lines of “Eeeh scaryner if I was here at night!”

**another outright lie. I was actually wondering if my other groupmates had arrived yet.

**Update**

I caved and voted for Hakimie and Rizwan. Hakimie, because he'd been flashing me peace signs from afar all day. Even worse, as I walked into the voting booth, he and his henchmen were waiting outside, making me feel all wretched and guilty because I personally know all of them. Rizwan, I voted because loads of people (i.e.; a grand total of 3 -- afdal tu) recommended him. The same 3 people voted for and recommended Mahirah, whom I obviously ended up not voting for (Yay for not caving to peer pressure!) despite knowing her personally from Nilai. Her manifesto just wasn't impressive enough. (Seriously. 3D maps? Enough said there.)