You could be happy

Everywhere around me, I see misery, bitterness, paranoia, depression.

Smile, people!

:-D

When your life is falling down, when people you love are leaving you left and right, when you spend your nights with tears instead of dreams, when you feel like you want to just escape from everything and everyone… maybe, just maybe, it’s not the rest of the world that’s screwed.

Maybe it’s the world’s way of telling you it’s time for a little self-reflection.

I can attest that spending an afternoon or a day or even just an hour objectively going over where you’ve gone wrong and how you can improve yourself feels – there’s no other word for it – rejuvenating. And it’s essential.

But it takes a lot to even want to attempt analysing yourself. We find it so easy to judge other people and pick on their flaws, but reflecting on our own hits too close to home. Some people find it hard to come to terms to the person or even monster that they’ve become. Others refuse to believe they’re even wrong. Once upon a time, I was the latter. Wait, no, I was even more screwed up than that. I was in the third category; people who knew what their flaws are, and don’t want to change. I lived my life believing that I could act just how I wanted and treat people according to my whims. My justification? Because that was me, and either you accepted me for who I was – glaring flaws and all – or you didn’t. And if you didn’t, you were an insensitive idiot not worth getting to know in the first place.

Big mistake. To have flaws is to be human. To have flaws and to acknowledge them makes you a self-aware human. But to have flaws, acknowledge them, and stubbornly refuse to improve yourself makes you a selfish, self-obsessed, arrogant douche.

So here are a few of my worst flaws, which I am currently trying to improve upon to be a better person:

a) I have a tendency to look down on people who have different ideals than me, instead of trying to understand where they’re coming from.
b) I say things that humiliate people or hurt their feelings without meaning to
c) I can’t accept criticism

So why self-reflect and strive to improve yourself, instead of just embracing yourself completely the way you already are?

Firstly, because you’re going to be stuck with yourself for the rest of your life, so you, of all people, deserve better.

Secondly, because it’ll be easier for people to love (or at least bear with) you. If you keep hurling bitchy, sarcastic comments at people (and defend yourself by saying it was a joke), indulge in temper tantrums (and blame others for making you angry), and severe friendship ties at whim (because they don’t hold up to your impossibly high expectations), then one day, people will stop caring and you’ll find yourself all alone with your bitter thoughts and an emo blog no one reads.

And lastly, because life improves. It really does.

On a final note, thank you for making me want to become a better person (instead of putting me on the defense, the way everyone else who criticised me did). You know who you are.